Most likely it will crash on prom night: Matt Gaetz
I didn’t need a House ethics report to tell me the guy is pure Florida swamp slime. That said, there was no way I would miss the opportunity to point out that the committee found “substantial evidence” that the former congressman “regularly paid women to engage in sexual activity with him,” was engaged with “a 17-year-old girl.” ” in 2017 and possessed cocaine and other illegal substances on several occasions. (He has denied any wrongdoing.)
Most likely we will have a bad new year: Michael Johnson
Such a slim majority in the House. What a contentious Republican conference. Such a harsh president with such a meddlesome partner. Even before taking power, the Trump-Musk administration turned the House speaker’s bipartisan approach to government funding into a circus, with dozens of Republicans defying the MAGA king’s call to suspend the debt ceiling. Assuming Johnson keeps the deck, the next few months promise to be even more… invigorating for him.
Charging
Most evil meme: JD Vance’s Grandma’s Couch
If you know it, you know it. If you don’t, you can Google it, because I can’t explain it.
The rudest but most catchy slur: “They are eating the pets”
Like so many things that come out of Trump’s mouth, this lie about Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio, was appalling. But it also resonated with some voters and kept the issue of migration at the forefront.
Deafest campaign mantra: “The politics of joy”
Come on, friends, read the room.
The creepiest electoral metaphor: Tucker Carlson
His rantings about how a second Trump term would be like “daddy” coming home “angry” and ready to spank a “bad girl”: no. Simply, no.
The most fluent communicator: Pete Buttigieg
The Secretary of Transportation remained unmatched in his ability to gently explain complex policy concepts and ideological positions to hostile audiences, while dismantling disinformation and partisan attacks. #FoxWhisperer.
The most disconcerting communicator: Katie Britt
Part Stepford wife, part Marilyn Monroe, part panicked hostage, the Alabama senator’s rebuttal to the 2024 State of the Union address was like a scene from a horror movie. Smile.
The most prophetic: Dean Phillips
The Minnesota congressman’s challenge to Biden for the Democratic nomination was beyond quixotic, but he was wrong about the urgency of the issue.
Best positioned to jump on the MAGA train: Eric Adams
The mayor of New York is in so many legal troubles, and has wrapped himself in such a thick, self-righteous cloak of political victimhood, that it appears he is seeking a spot on Team Trump. The game recognizes the game.
Charging
Rising stars: childless cat ladies
They released a million memes and recruited Taylor Swift to the cause, even if they ended up being more catcalls than claws.
Most Embarrassing Wardrobe Malfunction: Hulk Hogan
Amid all the hoopla at the Republican National Convention, the wrestling legend ripping off his shirt was a mix of spectacle, kitsch, nostalgia and cheeseball machismo that perfectly captured Trumpian vibes.
He’s more likely in charge of the Trump fraternity hazing: Pete Hegseth
Beware of men who casually mistreat women.
More likely to be hazed: Vivek Ramaswamy
DOGE or no DOGE, this guy is very annoying.
Let’s end there. Congratulations to all our 2024 winners. For the rest, it is best to start as soon as possible to distinguish yourself during the next year. It promises to be spectacular.
Michelle Cottle is a columnist for the New York Times.
This article originally appeared in The New York Times.
